Easter in a Pandemic

This year, Easter was different and I had a hard time. I love holidays, especially the ones that involve big dinners with family, special traditions, and lots of excitement. This year, with being in isolation, I found myself very unmotivated. I didn't want to shop for Easter basket supplies (thank goodness the grandparents sent treats), I didn't want to colour eggs, I didn't want to bake Easter cookies. I had brainstormed ideas to try and make Easter a bit more normal, but Sunday morning came, and I lost all motivation. I had visions of us dressing up for Easter service, even though it was at home via livestream. What a great photo op! Fancy Easter clothes just to watch church on tv. But nope. We sat in our pyjamas, drank coffee and I cried through the entire service. The most important holiday to the Christian faith, that is supposed to be a grand celebration, spent in isolation. I made a ham for dinner, and we had a zoom supper with my parents and brother's family. Just not the same. I don't know if the kids noticed... but I did. And it was hard.

Settling In

I started this post about a week ago, titling it "Settling In". It's sat blank for a week while we try to find a groove with online/homeschooling. It seems like my kids have had one crisis after another. (And by crisis, I mean something big in their worlds. Obviously I know there are bigger things going on, but when their world is the four fence lines of our yard, it's big).

First, Marek woke up one morning, crawled into bed like he usually does. I tussled his hair, only to have him withdraw in a bit of pain. "What's the matter, buddy?" "I think Neila elbowed me." I rubbed for a bit more of inspection and felt a bit of a lump. Something like what a mole would feel like if it was hidden by a head full of hair. I reached over to my nightstand for my phone to turn on my flashlight.

WARNING, THE FOLLOWING DESCRIPTION MAY BE DISTURBING TO SOME READERS

Tick. Eww. I tried so hard to hide my "heebie-jeebies", to not freak him out. But the word was out of my mouth before I could try to keep the situation calm and under control. He jumped out of the bed and began running around my room, screaming. I panicked. I know I had heard something about not using tweezers. About keeping ticks to send them away for testing. I messaged our mom group chat to ask for advice. Hours went by...ok probably seconds. Marek is still running around screaming. Remembering (ok not remembering) the advice I had heard I grabbed my tweezers and yanked that disgusting menace from his scalp. Now I'm standing in my bathroom in my pyjamas, with a screaming Marek, a sleepy Neila who has came to investigate what all the ruckus is about, and a squirming tick in my tweezers. I yelled for someone to go get me a container. Another hour passes... one of the children return with a tupperware container from downstairs. I drop the tick (probably flick it squeamishly) into the container and try to calm the kids. Meanwhile that tick tries to climb out! And quickly! Down the toilet he went. So, no tweezers? Check. Keep the tick for testing? Check.

Now to try and calm the kids and convince them that it is safe to be outside. No our house doesn't have ticks. No, that hair that brushed across the back of your neck isn't a tick. Stop telling all your classmates and teachers about it. They heard you the first time. Thankfully it didn't get a rash and he seems to be fine. As of the day of writing, no longer hurts. So that was Tuesday.

Wednesday, after checking everyone for ticks repeatedly, we started our day. Ok, this can't be any worse than yesterday. I wrote out a schedule and chore list. We are going to rock this homeschooling thing! Long story short, Kacey ends up dislocating her elbow during Marek's class zoom meeting and we watched tv for the rest of the day. Two hours she sat on the couch unable to move her arm. Quinn came home to rescue my sanity and kept the kids entertained while I called the doctor. The two things that kept running through my head? 1. I can't take her to the hospital. They're going to take her away. 2. I can't take her to the hospital. She's going to get COVID. So I thought maybe our family doctor could see us and maybe I'd luck out that they had an X-ray machine and we could avoid the hospital. Turns out, they're not seeing patients but doing consults over the phone. So our great doctor walked me through, over the phone, how to reset her elbow. After I hung up, everything he said disappeared from my memory, so we watched a youtube tutorial and reset Kacey's elbow. I sat at the kitchen table and sobbed. Neila offered to bring me calming essential oils. Kacey was up running around like nothing happened. Quinn went back to work. That was Wednesday.

We got a few days of reprieve. I was ready to wrap Neila in bubble wrap, because obviously her turn was next. The last few days (end of last week and beginning of this week) we have been trying to get into a rhythm with school. Marek has a zoom meeting with his class (usually about 16 -5/6 year olds) at 9, so Neila does some reading with Kacey. Then Neila has her class meeting at 10 and Marek does something with Kacey, or does a task suggested by his teacher. But it's not the same. Neila thrives on structure and collapses with chaos. 16 kids talking at the same time on one computer screen is pretty much the definition of chaos. So she is super stressed. Marek really doesn't enjoy arts and crafts, or colouring, or basically anything most kindergarteners need to do. So it's been a struggle to get him to take his time, or even complete anything.

Then today happened. Neila's fish died. I made the mistake of stating that fact loud enough for the kids to hear, of course right in the middle of Marek's class zoom. Cue the meltdowns. And uncontrollable sobbing. I get that as a kid, this must be devastating. But I'll admit, her level of sadness is equally proportionate to the amount of irritation and anger I'm feeling. I understand she's sad. But I find it so irritating with the moping. Then the mom guilt sets in... That was today.

I think the hardest part about all of this, is that it's always loud. Sometimes its happy noises. They go outside and jump on the trampoline, yell and scream but it's giggle screaming and fun yelling. But it's loud. A lot of the time it's whining. About being bored, or not wanting to do schoolwork, or wanting to do school work but when I'm in the middle of making food. Or whining about being hungry (I apologize to the teachers if they whine this much at school about being hungry). It's a lot. Or they start yelling at each other for various annoyances. But they're awake making some kind of  noise before I am awake and it's a lot. I'm not an extrovert. But I'm not a classic introvert. I like small groups but I need time to recharge (As I'm writing this Kacey's yelling at me that there is sand on her tongue and Marek is screaming about not wanting a bath. They were playing in our dirt-box. Think sandbox but a garden. So they're covered in a layer of black dust). I find the noise overwhelming. I miss having other moms around to tag team through the chaos. I miss having a quiet house during the day when the older two are at school. I'm sad that we can't get together with family over Easter. I miss the sense of freedom to go anywhere and do anything.

To end this rant, a list of things I'm thankful for. Because ultimately its a personal decision to change my mindset and end the pity party.
1. We are all healthy. And so is everyone we know.
2. Quinn still has a job.
3. Technology. We are able to stay connected via FaceTime, texts, phone calls. There is Netflix and other streaming services to fill the in-betweens, and times when we have just had enough. We can stream church services when we can't meet together.
4. I haven't had to set foot in another building besides my house since March 14. (Neila's birthday, when I took her for a Starbucks when this was all starting). I've been able to order groceries and pick them up outside
5. Our weather. We aren't covered in feet of snow. The sun is shining and warm, birds are singing
6. Our home and yard. If we have to be safe at home, there's nowhere else I'd rather be. We have more than enough room to play outside, or inside.
7. We can still celebrate Easter anywhere. Jesus' death and resurrection are still real even if we aren't able to physically be with those we love.
8. The group of moms I've met here in Rayleigh. We have a messenger group we all chat in. If someone is going for groceries, there's always a call out to see if anyone needs anything. We can share funny stories and jokes about our situation, knowing we are all in this together, even if we can't be together. We've done a couple competitions where we post photos and vote. One week was cake decorating and one was paper mâché. It's community from a distance and it's great.
9. Teachers. They've been thrown into these unchartered waters and if we are struggling, I can't imagine the stress and pressure they're under trying to keep everyone else afloat.
10. What is True in the light is True in the darkness. God is still good, even when I'm overwhelmed.

Until next time my friends, Stay home and wash your hands.

COVID-19: How Something So Small Changed Everything

It's been 19 days since the world entered a tail spin. 19 days since it was socially acceptable to hug your friends or handshake a stranger. 19 days since words like "social distancing", "self-isolation" and "quarantine" meant nothing. 19 days since I went to town without hesitation over whether or not I was going to get sick in the grocery store.

Thursday, March 12, 2020 I took the kids to school like any normal day. After dropping them off, I went home with Kacey, had a shower, ate some breakfast, drank a coffee and packed our stuff to go to story time at the library. I had plans to go to the dollar store after to get poster board to make giant signs for the Kamloops Blazers game. Friday was to be Neila's 8th birthday party and we were taking her and 4 friends to the Blazers game against the Rockets. She wanted to make giant signs that said "It's my Birthday". We were supposed to meet Digger, high five the players in the tunnel as they went on the ice, and get on the big screen. By the time we got out of story time, the NBA had suspended their season, the NHL had suspended their season, and a friend and I came up with a back up plan for Neila's party, just in case the WHL followed suit. So at the dollar store I purchased poster board AND supplies for an at-home spa night. By the time I got home from town, all major sports had been suspended, including our plans for Neila's party.

We had heard the term "corona-virus" and "COVID-19". It was that outbreak that we had heard about on the news. The one in China. The one on the other side of the world. Yes there were a few isolated cases starting to pop up here in Canada, but it wasn't enough of a concern that things here had stopped. Quinn went to Las Vegas for a work trip on Wednesday, the day before the world spiralled. He hesitated going, wondered if maybe it wasn't such a good idea, but ultimately, didn't seem like too big of a deal. By Friday, we were wondering if he'd make it home. Flights were being cancelled, international travel was not advised. Canadians were being urged to come home and "come home NOW!"Within days, our borders were closed, our stores were closed. There was so much misinformation being tossed around and trying to hold it all together while he seemed so far away was tricky. By the time Saturday came, anyone travelling from out-of-country were being asked to "self-isolate" for 14 days. Our Spring Break was cancelled, out of fear from travel, and the fact Quinn would be self-isolating.

I spent Neila's 8th birthday, after a trip to Starbucks for birthday drinks, getting the basement ready for my husband. We partitioned off one of the bathrooms, blocked off the stairs to keep the kids out, and basically moved his essentials to the basement. He arrived home without any fanfare unlike any other trip, where he's greeted with happy screams, hugs and requests to wrestle and play. No physical contact, no hugs or kisses. He came in while the kids slept, bringing to the surface uncertainty and fear that we didn't realize had seeped in while he was gone.

Schools quickly followed. First Ontario, then Alberta. We were heading into Spring Break, so the decision here took longer than that of other provinces. But sure enough, schools were closed "indefinitely"whatever that means. April? June? September? Who knows. Gatherings over 250 people were cancelled. People were encouraged to maintain a distance of 6 feet from one another. Then gatherings were reduced to 50 people. Churches were closed. Nonessential businesses were closed. People were being laid off or encouraged to work from home.

The epicentre moved from Wuhan, China, to Italy, then to Spain. We had friends who left at the beginning of March with their kids for a holiday. Now they were wondering if they would make it home before flights stopped altogether. (Thankfully they made it home, very last minute, and not without stress and worry).

Social Distancing, which I think is misused term, more correctly "physical distancing", became mandatory. Stores were limiting the number of people allowed inside at one time. Every business you've ever given your email address to sent out updates about "what we're doing to stop the spread". People started panic buying. Store shelves void of toilet paper and hand sanitizer. In the coming days, essentials like flour, sugar, eggs and yeast. (I've been trying for a week and a half to buy yeast to bake my own bread with no luck finding any.) Gas prices have dropped to under 80 cents/litre at the time of writing this. It had been wavering between 1.19-1.29 for the two and a half years that we have lived here.

In all this, I have learned many things. I have learned how much I value human connection. I am somewhere in the middle of the scale when it comes to being an intro- or extrovert. I would choose quality over quantity. I'm not the life of the party but like to observe, listen and offer commentary when I feel it would add value to the topic up for discussion. But I don't like to be left out. I like being at home, but not every day. Not all day. I have never felt so strongly the need for connection. I have never felt this anxious or fearful. I'm not afraid of getting sick. I have been sick, I have had sick kids. I find us to be, as Quinn says, "clutch" in times of stress. But the idea of going to the grocery store makes me nervous. I can control what goes on in our home, how often we wash our hands, what we touch, what we bring inside. But outside the walls of our home, I can't control anything. I can't rely on other people to take the same precautions that we take. Or who they visit.

I realize that I'm starting to ramble. My kids have been begging for cake for the last hour and "can we do something fun? we never do anything fun anymore because of that virus!". Let's just say, I appreciate and value so much the teachers in our lives. I'm so thankful that we are all in this together. A mom chat group I'm a part of in our community has been a life saver to rant to, to ask for help from, and just encourage each other that some days its ok to watch tv and eat all the brownies. It won't last forever. It may be a while. But not forever. Until we get the all clear to leave our houses again....

Easter Traditions

As a kid, I remember going to Nanny's (my mom's mom) to colour eggs for Easter. The smell of vinegar mixed with the boiling water sure takes me back there. I also remember baking easter cookies with my mom. Ok, maybe I don't remember the actual baking so much as the taste of those cookies. This was a recipe that she didn't make very often, but I sure wish she did! And as we got older, she stopped making the icing and just had the cookies. We had cookie cutters in the shape of a duck, a chick, and an egg. My favourite part was the way the cookies tasted; there was a slight hint of orange. I thought I would try doing some of these things with Neila this year, as we haven't really had too many opportunities to make our own traditions. She seemed to enjoy herself. As she was icing her cookies, she very enthusiastically kept saying "helping mommy!". This recipe is too good not to share. So here are a few pictures from our morning, along with the recipe for the cookies.

 

Easter Cookies

Bake at 350 for 8 minutes

2 1/2 cups sifted all-purpose flour

1 tsp baking powder

1/2 tsp salt

1/2 cup butter, softened

2/3 cup sugar

1 egg

1-2 tsp grated orange rind

1 tbsp orange juice

1. Sift together flour, baking powder, and salt onto wax paper

2. Beat together butter and sugar in large bowl until smooth. Beat in egg, orange rind and juice.

3. Add flour mixture, a third at a time, stirring well.

4. Shape dough into ball; flatten slightly. Wrap in plastic wrap. Refrigerate for several hours or overnight.

5. To bake cookies, preheat oven to 350 degrees.

6. Roll out dough on lightly floured surface to 1/8 inch thickness. Cut into shapes using cookie cutters. Place onto lightly greased cookie sheets. Repeat with other half of the dough

7. Bake in oven for 7-8 minutes or until lightly golden around edges; cookies should not brown. Frost and decorate with icing (recipe to follow)

 

Icing recipe
3 egg whites
1/2 tsp cream of tartar
3 1/2 cups sifted icing sugar
Food colouring (optional)

1. Beat egg whites and cream of tartar in a medium sized bowl until foamy. Slowly beat in icing sugar; continue beating until thick and creamy. Add in food colouring if desired.
2. Spread evenly over cookies.

(I would either double the cookie recipe or half the icing. I had quite a bit of icing left over. And 18 moose cookies)

Cake Smash!

I popped in to OMG cupcakes today to buy one for Marek's birthday. Seeing as how daddy is in Oklahoma this week, we are having a party on the weekend. But I still wanted to do something special for Marek's actual birthday today. I know, I know, a one year old's birthday being special is more for me than him, but I can admit that, and I'm okay with that. So I wanted to do a cake smash photo shoot.  Here's the highlights. It was fun.

A Valentines Birthday Photo Shoot

My baby boy is turning one in five days. FIVE DAYS! What happened? Here are some photos I took today. First I smothered him in lipstick kisses then tried to get him to sit still long enough for a few photos.

Happy Birthday baby boy.

One of those days

A story for you…

Once upon a time there was a mom. One afternoon she was trying to get supper going so she put her almost one year old in his high chair with his milk and a snack to keep him busy. A few minutes later when she looked over, his milk leaked and he was splashing in the puddle.  Milk on the floor, on the table, on the window. Everywhere.

Meanwhile, her almost three year old daughter got out the play dough. This play dough was old and crumbly. It preceded to make a mess as she inquisitively tried to discover how many crumbs it could make. 

This frustrated mom took her son out of his high chair to clean up his mess. Sneakily, he made is way over to the play dough mess and began to eat said play dough off the floor as his frazzled mother wiped milk off of everything. 

Out came the broom and the garbage can. No more play dough. Now, just when this mom thought she had everything under control, and the messes cleaned up and thought she could get back to making supper, out came every single toy out of the toy box.

Oh and did I mention the part about taking a bag of dirty diapers outside and not putting the baby gate back up because Marek was safely stowed away in his high chair drinking his milk and eating his snack? Ya that's a good one. Good thing his sister's got his back. "Ma-wek fall stairs. Mommy! Ma-wek stairs!" As she looked up she sees this chubby little boy scooting to the open stairwell. Wrenching her back as she got up, she ran as fast as she could to the stairs, just as he went over. Thankfully she got there in time to save him from a not so soft landing on the tile floor below. He hit one stair before she caught him. 

As this story is being written, said chubby baby is on the floor crying beside me and the other one is silent and seems to have disappeared. Should probably check on that and go finish supper. Is it bed time yet?